LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 30

Day 30: Anything LGBT you'd like to end this on?

So many thoughts are running through my head. I've come so far from where I was 10 years ago. I couldn't even say "I'm gay" in my head at that age. All that I ever remember thinking about was how/when to end everything if thoughts of sexuality even entered my mind. I prayed EVERY DAY for God to make me "normal." Needless to say, it didn't work. But I came through it. I'm ok.

Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go. I struggle with issues of masculinity, identity, dating, self-confidence, but I'm leaps and bounds ahead of even 3 years ago. Life is a struggle every day, but I'll make it. I'll figure it out.

This 30 day challenge has inspired me to record an "It Gets Better" video. It's something I've been thinking about for a while, but now it's something I feel like I need to do. Look for it to be coming soon.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 29

Day 29: SHOUT SOMETHING! IT CAN BE HAPPY AND ABOUT PRIDE OR ABOUT WHY YOU HATE HOMOPHOBIA!

Umm…YAY FOR NOT BEING DEAD!!! That’s what I’ve got. I usually only yell when I’m angry and I try not to be angry to awful often. :) But I think this sums up how I feel right now.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 26

Day 26: Your favorite gay joke? (We all need to laugh at ourselves)

There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey.

The bartender asks, "What's the matter?"

The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."

The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.

The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?"

The man says, "I found out that my son is gay."

The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey.

Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"

The man looks up and says, "Apparently my wife does."

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 25

Day 25: The LGBT slur you hate the most?

"Fag." Unquestionably. I can't STAND that word. It irks me to no end when I hear it. I heard it used so derogatorily as a kid so often, that it literally makes my skin crawl. I tried at one point to "take it back" and use it, but I just couldn't do it for long. It's just so hurtful to me for some reason. It definitely doesn't bother me like it did when I was a kid, but I still just don't like it.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 23

Day 23: An LGBT image that makes you cry or makes you angry?

I don't really think this needs much explanation.  It just makes me so sad to see that the anger and hatred I had hoped would die with my grandparents' generation is still alive and well in America.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 22

Day 22: An LGBT image that makes you smile.

I can't even begin to describe how much I want to be a dad. 

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 16

Day 16: A picture for your first LGBT relationship or your first LGBT crush?

This is my ex, Jason. He was the first truly long term relationship I ever had.  And only, really, at this point.  It took me such a long time to be comfortable with my sexuality that I didn't start dating until I was 22 and my earlier relationships either fizzled out quickly or something drastic happened...like Adam, who moved to NYC overnight without telling me.  We ended things on really good terms and both just realized that we were better as friends than partners.  The only picture I can find of us together, I hate because I look awful, so I used this one.  He's a great guy and I wish him well.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 14

Day 14: Your favorite LGBT song or artist?

I don't really think I have one of these either. In my opinion, most specifically LGBTQ artists just aren't up to par with mainstream artists, and I use that term very loosely. Gaga is fun to listen to sometimes, Adam Lambert is ok (but his stuff never mentions gender to keep it open to all and not make him a niche artist), and there a few good songs out there, but overall, it just sucks. I'm constantly on the look-out for something to prove me wrong, though.

I can't wait for the day that they play a love song from one man to another on the radio and no one thinks twice about it. I always change the gender pronouns and such when singing, but I'm excited for the day I don't have to.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 11

Day 11: What's your favorite LGBT book (or one you'd like to read)?

I read a lot, but I don't really read a lot of LGBT specific books. Most of my reading is about vampires or other fantastical things.  I read Dead Boys Can't Dance several years ago and really enjoyed it.  My sense of masculinity and what defines masculinity has been an issue I've struggled with for as long as I can remember.  This book was a really great resource on the topic, although largely academic.  The book was actually donated to the University of Tennessee Hodges' Library in my name from the University Library System after I'd worked in the George F. Devine Music Library for a couple years.

One that many people have read is The Perks of Being a Wallflower. That's a really good one.  A definite must-read if you haven't. 

Boy Meets Boy and The Rainbow Boys are another couple books I'd like to read.