Day 20: Maureen or Joanne? (Or your favorite LGBTQ show or queer-positive show).
Why do I have to pick? I like them both! As for my favorite LGBT positive show, I'm not sure. I love True Blood and there is a strong LGBT presence on that show. And the cast is just sexy, come on. Other than that, I'm drawing a blank. So many shows have such strong, positive LGBT characters.
Queer as Folk is pretty good. Buffy: the Vampire Slayer had "Willow" and her girlfriend. That was probably one of the earliest regular characters I can think of that was LGBT. Bones had an LGBT character if I'm not mistaken. This is hard for me. I watch so much T.V. that I can't really remember. Oh, HawthoRNe has a lesbian nurse. Haha, I guess I'm failing at this.
I will say that I think we are finally being represented pretty accurately on T.V. and in film. I think the fact that there isn't a single stand-out choice is a good thing.
And I'm realizing that the original question said "show" and mentioned RENT. If we're talking Broadway, is there actually a show that isn't at least somewhat LGBT positive?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 19
Day 19: Butch or Femme?
This is a loaded question and one I have issue with. Who defines what is butch? or femme? I don't necessarily think these labels are bad things, as labels go, but I think we try to stick to them to rigidly.
Personally, I'd say I'm attracted to people on the more butch end of the scale. I like masculine men. That said, someone who is attracted to more feminine men aren't any less of a man, they just have different preferences. And as far as my own personality and mannerisms, I'm pretty middle of the road, probably leaning to the butch side a bit. I like to fix and build things, can change a tire and the oil in a car, do some minor construction, but at the same time, I like fashion (looking at it, not so much knowing a lot), music, photography, design. For some, that makes me too femme, even if I don't identify that way.
I think labels are useful in some ways. As human beings, we need to be able to categorize things to understand them. But we try to cling to these labels, that are often binary, and when things don't fit neatly into one or the other, we aren't quite sure what to do. I think that's something we need to work on as a society. We need to learn that gender and sexuality are binary. And that's there's nothing wrong with that.
This is a loaded question and one I have issue with. Who defines what is butch? or femme? I don't necessarily think these labels are bad things, as labels go, but I think we try to stick to them to rigidly.
Personally, I'd say I'm attracted to people on the more butch end of the scale. I like masculine men. That said, someone who is attracted to more feminine men aren't any less of a man, they just have different preferences. And as far as my own personality and mannerisms, I'm pretty middle of the road, probably leaning to the butch side a bit. I like to fix and build things, can change a tire and the oil in a car, do some minor construction, but at the same time, I like fashion (looking at it, not so much knowing a lot), music, photography, design. For some, that makes me too femme, even if I don't identify that way.
I think labels are useful in some ways. As human beings, we need to be able to categorize things to understand them. But we try to cling to these labels, that are often binary, and when things don't fit neatly into one or the other, we aren't quite sure what to do. I think that's something we need to work on as a society. We need to learn that gender and sexuality are binary. And that's there's nothing wrong with that.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 18
Day 18: Something about the LGBTQ community you don't understand or have a question about?
Here's the thing I don't get: why the hell is the gay community so catty. I don't get it. So many times, if you're not a twink, you're not gay enough. If you don't shave your body, you're not gay enough. If you don't keep up with the latest fashions, you're ot gay enough. On the flip side, if you do shave your body, you're too gay. If you don't have some muscle on you, you're too gay.
For a community that is constantly striving for acceptance, tolerance, and equality, we turn on each other at the drop of a hat! It's ridiculous. I was just reading an article today about a male model and half the comments could say nothing but how badly he had mutilated "such a beautiful body" with his tattoos. Really, people? Really? I just don't understand. I like masculine men. I like men with body hair. I like men with tattoos and piercings. But I don't expect everyone to agree with me. Why would anyone else expect everyone to hold their opinion? It just doesn't make sense. And if you really think about it, if we all liked the same thing, the whole community would be fighting over a few "hot" guys, who would only want to date people that looked just liked them, leaving the rest of us cold and alone.
Grow up. Just as we tell straight people that we're different, but still ok, we need to tell each other the same thing. Share the love people, share the love.
Here's the thing I don't get: why the hell is the gay community so catty. I don't get it. So many times, if you're not a twink, you're not gay enough. If you don't shave your body, you're not gay enough. If you don't keep up with the latest fashions, you're ot gay enough. On the flip side, if you do shave your body, you're too gay. If you don't have some muscle on you, you're too gay.
For a community that is constantly striving for acceptance, tolerance, and equality, we turn on each other at the drop of a hat! It's ridiculous. I was just reading an article today about a male model and half the comments could say nothing but how badly he had mutilated "such a beautiful body" with his tattoos. Really, people? Really? I just don't understand. I like masculine men. I like men with body hair. I like men with tattoos and piercings. But I don't expect everyone to agree with me. Why would anyone else expect everyone to hold their opinion? It just doesn't make sense. And if you really think about it, if we all liked the same thing, the whole community would be fighting over a few "hot" guys, who would only want to date people that looked just liked them, leaving the rest of us cold and alone.
Grow up. Just as we tell straight people that we're different, but still ok, we need to tell each other the same thing. Share the love people, share the love.
Monday, June 27, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 17
Day 17:Your first experience with an LGBT organization or event (Day of Silence, Pride, etc.)?
My first experience with n LGBT organization was at a Pride festival...and it was an accident. I go to the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, TN and my best friend and I, along with our lesbian partner in crime, decided to go downtown to Market Square and get some lunch. We don't live far from there, but we drove, parked, and headed to one of our favorite spots, Tomato Head. As we approach, we start seeing tons of people. Tons of gay people. I was out at this point, but still not 100% comfortable with it. But as we got closer, I suddenly felt ok. Here were tons of men holding hands with men. And women with their arms draped around other women. And all in East Tennessee, not exactly what you'd think of as a hotbed for the homos.
But here we were, surrounded by happy, healthy, well-adjusted gay people. It was a really positive experience for me. There were other people there who had also stumbled unwittingly on Knoxville Pridefest. The one I remember most was a frat-looking boy and a girl. They were on a date for sure, but whether or not they were in a relationship, I couldn't say. Either way, the girl was gushing about how cute it was that all the gay guys were there, holding hands and "being themselves." Her beau kept nodding and trying to agree, but it was all over his face that he was uncomfortable. This said, many students at UT are from very small towns in Tennessee and have very little, if any, experience with openly gay people, especially in this magnitude. I can't say I was 100% comfortable, so I can only imagine what he was feeling. He was polite and friendly enough and I can only hope he was caught off guard and was trying to soak it all in.
The whole experience was great and I went back, intentionally this time, the following year and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Unfortunately, I have to miss Knoxville Pride this year, and I already missed Nashville's, but Memphis' is in October and I'll likely drive home for it. I've never been to that one and it should prove a very interesting experience.
My first experience with n LGBT organization was at a Pride festival...and it was an accident. I go to the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, TN and my best friend and I, along with our lesbian partner in crime, decided to go downtown to Market Square and get some lunch. We don't live far from there, but we drove, parked, and headed to one of our favorite spots, Tomato Head. As we approach, we start seeing tons of people. Tons of gay people. I was out at this point, but still not 100% comfortable with it. But as we got closer, I suddenly felt ok. Here were tons of men holding hands with men. And women with their arms draped around other women. And all in East Tennessee, not exactly what you'd think of as a hotbed for the homos.
But here we were, surrounded by happy, healthy, well-adjusted gay people. It was a really positive experience for me. There were other people there who had also stumbled unwittingly on Knoxville Pridefest. The one I remember most was a frat-looking boy and a girl. They were on a date for sure, but whether or not they were in a relationship, I couldn't say. Either way, the girl was gushing about how cute it was that all the gay guys were there, holding hands and "being themselves." Her beau kept nodding and trying to agree, but it was all over his face that he was uncomfortable. This said, many students at UT are from very small towns in Tennessee and have very little, if any, experience with openly gay people, especially in this magnitude. I can't say I was 100% comfortable, so I can only imagine what he was feeling. He was polite and friendly enough and I can only hope he was caught off guard and was trying to soak it all in.
The whole experience was great and I went back, intentionally this time, the following year and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Unfortunately, I have to miss Knoxville Pride this year, and I already missed Nashville's, but Memphis' is in October and I'll likely drive home for it. I've never been to that one and it should prove a very interesting experience.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 16
Day 16: A picture for
your first LGBT relationship or your first LGBT crush?
This is my ex, Jason. He was the first truly long term relationship I ever had. And only, really, at this point. It took me such a long time to be comfortable with my sexuality that I didn't start dating until I was 22 and my earlier relationships either fizzled out quickly or something drastic happened...like Adam, who moved to NYC overnight without telling me. We ended things on really good terms and both just realized that we were better as friends than partners. The only picture I can find of us together, I hate because I look awful, so I used this one. He's a great guy and I wish him well.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 15
Day 15: Your favorite LGBT quote?
Yet again, I don't have one. Does that make me a bad gay? But in all seriousness, I'm not generally one to quote other people. I don't think it's a bad thing for people to do, but I don't usually feel the need to validate my opinions by pulling on the clout of another.
I will post a link here that I have thoroughly enjoyed since joining Tumblr: HomoHelp. Lots of good advice and often quite comical. Enjoy!
Friday, June 24, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 14
Day 14: Your favorite LGBT song or artist?
I don't really think I have one of these either. In my opinion, most specifically LGBTQ artists just aren't up to par with mainstream artists, and I use that term very loosely. Gaga is fun to listen to sometimes, Adam Lambert is ok (but his stuff never mentions gender to keep it open to all and not make him a niche artist), and there a few good songs out there, but overall, it just sucks. I'm constantly on the look-out for something to prove me wrong, though.
I can't wait for the day that they play a love song from one man to another on the radio and no one thinks twice about it. I always change the gender pronouns and such when singing, but I'm excited for the day I don't have to.
I don't really think I have one of these either. In my opinion, most specifically LGBTQ artists just aren't up to par with mainstream artists, and I use that term very loosely. Gaga is fun to listen to sometimes, Adam Lambert is ok (but his stuff never mentions gender to keep it open to all and not make him a niche artist), and there a few good songs out there, but overall, it just sucks. I'm constantly on the look-out for something to prove me wrong, though.
I can't wait for the day that they play a love song from one man to another on the radio and no one thinks twice about it. I always change the gender pronouns and such when singing, but I'm excited for the day I don't have to.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 13
Day 13: Your favorite LGBT role model/celebrity?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely out of the loop or one of those pretentious assholes that claims to pay no attention to actors/musicians/celebrities, because I do. I love film. I love music. And I have a healthy helping of pop culture in my life. But I don't really have a favorite LGBTQ specific celebrity. The celebrities I like, I like wither because I like their music or I think they're hot...or both.
If I had to pick...I guess I'd say Neil Patrick Harris. I feel like he is an excellent example to the straight community that LGBTQ people are more similar than not. He's married. He has kids. He's not a crazy flamboyant queen (not that there's anything wrong with that, but it doesn't usually help convince the skeptics that we're not all crazy).
He also convincingly plays a straight man exceedingly well. And not just a straight man, a womanizer. This is great because there is this idea that once an actor is out, an audience can never take him/her seriously in a role as a straight character. Be completely debunks this! And I have to applaud him for that.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 12
Day 12: What's your favorite LGBT movie (or one you'd like to see)?
No questions asked, hands down, my favorite LGBT movie...hell, my favorite movie period is Saved!. It's amazing. In many ways, it is the story of my life, if I were an additional character in the story and if the main character committed suicide.
I went to a church that was almost a carbon copy of the school in the movie. The kids were just like that. We had the handicapped kid. The kid that didn't really fit in because she was just being toted to church by a neighbor. The gay kid that was scared to come out and his parent's reaction. The first time I saw the movie, I couldn't get over how much it mimicked my own life. I don't really want to say much more so I don't spoil too much, but it's a definite must watch.
Another good one is Latter Days. It's the story of a gay Mormon and his struggle to come to terms with his sexuality. This one also reminds me of my own life in a lot of ways. It starts out kinda cheesy and the acting isn't great, but keep watching. It's definitely worth the wait.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 11
Day 11: What's your favorite LGBT book (or one you'd like to read)?
I read a lot, but I don't really read a lot of LGBT specific books. Most of my reading is about vampires or other fantastical things. I read Dead Boys Can't Dance several years ago and really enjoyed it. My sense of masculinity and what defines masculinity has been an issue I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. This book was a really great resource on the topic, although largely academic. The book was actually donated to the University of Tennessee Hodges' Library in my name from the University Library System after I'd worked in the George F. Devine Music Library for a couple years.
One that many people have read is The Perks of Being a Wallflower. That's a really good one. A definite must-read if you haven't.
Boy Meets Boy and The Rainbow Boys are another couple books I'd like to read.
Monday, June 20, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 10
Day 10: What does marriage mean to you?
As cheesy as it sounds, to me, marriage means love. It means that I have committed my life to someone and intend to be with them forever. Through thick and thin, good and bad, richer or poorer. I have no illusion that there aren't ups and downs or that marriage magically changes a person, but it's s symbol. It's a symbol to each other, to the community, the state, the nation, and the universe that these 2 souls are truly committed to each other.
Do I think that everyone has to or should get married? No, of course not. Some people aren't meant to be monogamous or in that kind of commitment. But should everyone have the right ot get married? Absolutely. And as far as that goes, if more than 2 people want to get married, they should have that right (more thoughts on that here).
Marriage is a societal institution. In some cases, it is a religious institution. But not only religious straight people get married. There is no differentiation in terminology for atheist couples. And the second the government handed out the first marriage "license," it ceased being a purely religious practice. Hell, in most of modern society, it was more of a business transaction or a peace agreement than about love. It wasn't until the 1940's and 1950's in the West that it truly became about love. So, the idea we have of marriage really isn't all that old.
And each generation defines what marriage is. People like to argue that it is an ancient institution, but it wasn't until about 1970 that people of different races could marry each other. And now we see how ridiculous that prohibition was. I full believe in 50 years, children will be confused as to what all the argument was about.
As cheesy as it sounds, to me, marriage means love. It means that I have committed my life to someone and intend to be with them forever. Through thick and thin, good and bad, richer or poorer. I have no illusion that there aren't ups and downs or that marriage magically changes a person, but it's s symbol. It's a symbol to each other, to the community, the state, the nation, and the universe that these 2 souls are truly committed to each other.
Do I think that everyone has to or should get married? No, of course not. Some people aren't meant to be monogamous or in that kind of commitment. But should everyone have the right ot get married? Absolutely. And as far as that goes, if more than 2 people want to get married, they should have that right (more thoughts on that here).
Marriage is a societal institution. In some cases, it is a religious institution. But not only religious straight people get married. There is no differentiation in terminology for atheist couples. And the second the government handed out the first marriage "license," it ceased being a purely religious practice. Hell, in most of modern society, it was more of a business transaction or a peace agreement than about love. It wasn't until the 1940's and 1950's in the West that it truly became about love. So, the idea we have of marriage really isn't all that old.
And each generation defines what marriage is. People like to argue that it is an ancient institution, but it wasn't until about 1970 that people of different races could marry each other. And now we see how ridiculous that prohibition was. I full believe in 50 years, children will be confused as to what all the argument was about.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 9
Day 9:What do you think about LGBT Pride? Is it helpful or hurtful? Encourage or unnecessary?
This is kind of a loaded question and there’s no real straightforward answer. I think LGBT Pride started for a very good reason: to bring awareness to the plight of LGBT individuals to the masses. And I think that showing our strength with numbers is still a good idea. It shows young people who haven’t come out yet that there is a world of people out there who love and accept them for who they are, even if their own families don’t. I think it would be a shame to lose that. However, so often Pride festivals have become nothing but a center for hedonism and debauchery. By all means, be who you are. But when you are representing the whole community, remember that that is what you are doing. There is national and international media there. Kissing, even making out is one thing, but some of the other stuff that goes on is too much for the public eye. It does nothing but give the opposition the ammunition it needs to scare people into discrimination. It fuels the fire of the “ministers” that declare “they eat the poo-poo!“So, I guess it can be oth helpful and harmful.
Is it necessary? Unfortunately, I have to say yes. I think that we should have pride in who we are and bot be ashamed of who we are. That said, I don’t see hte need to broadcast it from the rooftops at every opportunity. If you’re gay, great! Be gay! But don’t bring it up at every opportunity. People get tired of hearing it and you start to look like you’re playing the victim. Have some balls (or really solid labia, for my lesbian friends), but don’t rub it in people’s faces. There’s no need for that . But don’t shy away from it. If you feel it necessary to disclose, go for it. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way, but don’t feel the need to hide in the shadows. That’s a miserable life and I’ve been there.
I guess the moral of all this is that there is a happy medium. Out and proud? Yes. Intentionally flamboyant and over-the-top? No.
This is kind of a loaded question and there’s no real straightforward answer. I think LGBT Pride started for a very good reason: to bring awareness to the plight of LGBT individuals to the masses. And I think that showing our strength with numbers is still a good idea. It shows young people who haven’t come out yet that there is a world of people out there who love and accept them for who they are, even if their own families don’t. I think it would be a shame to lose that. However, so often Pride festivals have become nothing but a center for hedonism and debauchery. By all means, be who you are. But when you are representing the whole community, remember that that is what you are doing. There is national and international media there. Kissing, even making out is one thing, but some of the other stuff that goes on is too much for the public eye. It does nothing but give the opposition the ammunition it needs to scare people into discrimination. It fuels the fire of the “ministers” that declare “they eat the poo-poo!“So, I guess it can be oth helpful and harmful.
Is it necessary? Unfortunately, I have to say yes. I think that we should have pride in who we are and bot be ashamed of who we are. That said, I don’t see hte need to broadcast it from the rooftops at every opportunity. If you’re gay, great! Be gay! But don’t bring it up at every opportunity. People get tired of hearing it and you start to look like you’re playing the victim. Have some balls (or really solid labia, for my lesbian friends), but don’t rub it in people’s faces. There’s no need for that . But don’t shy away from it. If you feel it necessary to disclose, go for it. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way, but don’t feel the need to hide in the shadows. That’s a miserable life and I’ve been there.
I guess the moral of all this is that there is a happy medium. Out and proud? Yes. Intentionally flamboyant and over-the-top? No.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 8
Day 8: What do you think the closet or being closeted means to you?
As with most LGBTQ people, the closet represents repression, fear, discrimination, and self-loathing. It represents the need to hide or that something is inherently wrong with you.
I think that the closet and the act of having to “come out” is something that has been forced on LGBTQ people by our societies. It has been (and is) preached as “sinful” and “immoral” by the church. It doesn’t bear natural children and is therefore abnormal, anthropologically. Europe seems to have moved faster than the US, but we were founded by the prudes of Europe, so that makes sense. I can’t wait for the day that there is no longer any need for coming out or gay pride; a day when parents will ask if their child is interested in anyone and have the same reaction whether that interest is opposite or same sex.
As with most LGBTQ people, the closet represents repression, fear, discrimination, and self-loathing. It represents the need to hide or that something is inherently wrong with you.
I think that the closet and the act of having to “come out” is something that has been forced on LGBTQ people by our societies. It has been (and is) preached as “sinful” and “immoral” by the church. It doesn’t bear natural children and is therefore abnormal, anthropologically. Europe seems to have moved faster than the US, but we were founded by the prudes of Europe, so that makes sense. I can’t wait for the day that there is no longer any need for coming out or gay pride; a day when parents will ask if their child is interested in anyone and have the same reaction whether that interest is opposite or same sex.
Friday, June 17, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 7
Day 7 - How your parents took it or how you think they might take it?
I was 24 before I came out to my mom. My dad is dead, and has been since I was 6 months old, so there was no weirdness there. But I was terrified to tell my mom. Since I can remember, the mere thought of that sent chills down my spine and accelerated my heart rate. Even just as a passing thought.
But it all really got started in May ‘10 while I was on a trip to New Orleans. We had gone down for a close friend’s little sister’s 21st birthday and were having a blast. We went to Oz, one of the best gay clubs I’ve ever been to, stayed in the French Quarter on Rue San Phillipe, and were just surrounded by general gayness. It was great. We took a a trip to see some friends in Baton Rouge, Jonathan and Corey, and that was kinda the icing on the cake. Jonathan and Corey have been together for several years now. I met Jonathan’s parents while I was down there and we had a huge family-style cook out. I had an absolute blast. I talked to both Jonathan and Corey about how they came out, how their parents reacted, etc. Jonathan told me that his parents blamed themselves for a long time, and weren’t too happy about it as they are pretty observant Catholics, but came around.
So, on the ride back to New Orleans, I was sitting in the van we’d rented while everyone else was asleep, save for my friend’s aunt’s husband, who was driving. It’s about an hour drive in the middle of the night through the the swamp and I really had some time to reflect. I thought about telling Mom and damn near had a panic attack. But I decided I had to do it. I couldn’t keep living a lie and dealing with the stress it was causing me. It was all over my face when we got to New Orleans and my friend pulled me aside to talk. I almost lost it. We talked and I set a date.: July 30, 2010. It was a Friday and I knew it wasn’t going to well, so I wanted her to have a whole weekend to kinda deal with and process it before she had to be at work. And, it only left ~ 2 weeks before I had to go back to school, so if she flipped and kicked me out, I could crash with friends until time to go back.
I wrote out everything I wanted to say and told almost everyone. I figured that way I wouldn’t lose my train of thought if she got upset, could word everything the way I wanted, and I thought if everyone knew, I couldn’t back out. So, after a painstaking 3 hour airing of 27 Dresses on FX, I told her I needed to talk to her. It was all over her face before I was done that she knew what it was about. I finished the letter and she broke down crying. I held it together and tried to talk to her until she hesitated on whether she’d rather me be dead or gay and whether or not she still loved me. I got really upset at that point and started crying.
We went to bed and she pretty much spent all day Saturday in bed and ignoring me. Sunday rolled around and it was a little better. Things eventually got a little more normal until the 2nd Tuesday after when she sat me down and said that she still loved me, but that she could never accept it. That was it.
That winter when I went, I accidentally brought it up at dinner when she mentioned reading an old journal of mine. I misinterpreted her comment and we talked a little bit about it. She said she just didn’t understand. I asked her when she decided to like men and that caught her a bit off guard. She said she never “decided,” that’s just how it was. I told her that’s exactly how it was for me. I think that kinda clicked, but wasn’t sure how much.
I think it’s been mentioned a time or two since then, but not really. I’ve only ever had 1 serious relationship, but it started the September after I came out, so I didn’t want her to think I’d been hiding it for a long time, so I didn’t tell her. It ended 7 months later, so I still never mentioned it. I figure I’ll let her in on the next one fairly early, but I’m after I’m certain it’s serious, and we’ll see how it goes. I’m fairly optimistic. As for the rest of my family, I have a couple cousins that know and while not all are approving, they all still love and care about me. My grandparents are the ones I’m worried about telling, but only will if I decide to get married. As for the rest of my family, they can accept it or not. Frankly, I don’t give a damn.
I was 24 before I came out to my mom. My dad is dead, and has been since I was 6 months old, so there was no weirdness there. But I was terrified to tell my mom. Since I can remember, the mere thought of that sent chills down my spine and accelerated my heart rate. Even just as a passing thought.
But it all really got started in May ‘10 while I was on a trip to New Orleans. We had gone down for a close friend’s little sister’s 21st birthday and were having a blast. We went to Oz, one of the best gay clubs I’ve ever been to, stayed in the French Quarter on Rue San Phillipe, and were just surrounded by general gayness. It was great. We took a a trip to see some friends in Baton Rouge, Jonathan and Corey, and that was kinda the icing on the cake. Jonathan and Corey have been together for several years now. I met Jonathan’s parents while I was down there and we had a huge family-style cook out. I had an absolute blast. I talked to both Jonathan and Corey about how they came out, how their parents reacted, etc. Jonathan told me that his parents blamed themselves for a long time, and weren’t too happy about it as they are pretty observant Catholics, but came around.
So, on the ride back to New Orleans, I was sitting in the van we’d rented while everyone else was asleep, save for my friend’s aunt’s husband, who was driving. It’s about an hour drive in the middle of the night through the the swamp and I really had some time to reflect. I thought about telling Mom and damn near had a panic attack. But I decided I had to do it. I couldn’t keep living a lie and dealing with the stress it was causing me. It was all over my face when we got to New Orleans and my friend pulled me aside to talk. I almost lost it. We talked and I set a date.: July 30, 2010. It was a Friday and I knew it wasn’t going to well, so I wanted her to have a whole weekend to kinda deal with and process it before she had to be at work. And, it only left ~ 2 weeks before I had to go back to school, so if she flipped and kicked me out, I could crash with friends until time to go back.
I wrote out everything I wanted to say and told almost everyone. I figured that way I wouldn’t lose my train of thought if she got upset, could word everything the way I wanted, and I thought if everyone knew, I couldn’t back out. So, after a painstaking 3 hour airing of 27 Dresses on FX, I told her I needed to talk to her. It was all over her face before I was done that she knew what it was about. I finished the letter and she broke down crying. I held it together and tried to talk to her until she hesitated on whether she’d rather me be dead or gay and whether or not she still loved me. I got really upset at that point and started crying.
We went to bed and she pretty much spent all day Saturday in bed and ignoring me. Sunday rolled around and it was a little better. Things eventually got a little more normal until the 2nd Tuesday after when she sat me down and said that she still loved me, but that she could never accept it. That was it.
That winter when I went, I accidentally brought it up at dinner when she mentioned reading an old journal of mine. I misinterpreted her comment and we talked a little bit about it. She said she just didn’t understand. I asked her when she decided to like men and that caught her a bit off guard. She said she never “decided,” that’s just how it was. I told her that’s exactly how it was for me. I think that kinda clicked, but wasn’t sure how much.
I think it’s been mentioned a time or two since then, but not really. I’ve only ever had 1 serious relationship, but it started the September after I came out, so I didn’t want her to think I’d been hiding it for a long time, so I didn’t tell her. It ended 7 months later, so I still never mentioned it. I figure I’ll let her in on the next one fairly early, but I’m after I’m certain it’s serious, and we’ll see how it goes. I’m fairly optimistic. As for the rest of my family, I have a couple cousins that know and while not all are approving, they all still love and care about me. My grandparents are the ones I’m worried about telling, but only will if I decide to get married. As for the rest of my family, they can accept it or not. Frankly, I don’t give a damn.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 6
Day 6: Did you face any problems regarding religion?
Remember what I said about touching on future topics? Yeah. But, I guess I can go into a bit more detail.
I grew up in Memphis, TN and attended a Southern Baptist church of ~30,000 members. Yeah, I was a mega-churcher. We went a really small General Baptist church when I was really little, but the church kinda started dying off, so Mom decided the big church was the place to go. I remember her acting really weird the first time we went, but she knew there would be a lot of activities for both of us, so we gave it a shot.
I remember liking it a lot as a kid, but there were some bad things going on in retrospect. I remember my (now) ex-step-sister saying that the other kids didn't like her because of the school she went to. I thought it was just her being awkward, but as I got older, I noticed it myself. By 7th grade, people I had been friends with since I was 5 wouldn't talk to me. Add that to the fact that I was realizing that I was gay and crushing on other boys and the Sunday school teachers constantly talking about how sex in general was wrong, let alone gay things, and I was a powder keg waiting to go off.
From 12-16, I was institutionalized and attempted suicide 3 times. It was a really dark time. I tried "recommitting to Jesus" more times than I can count. I thought, "maybe I'm not saved," and went through that again. But it wasn't working. No matter how much I prayed, I still was attracted to other men. I tried so hard not to be, but that's just not something you can change.
Around junior year of high school, I read an article about a girl who was Pagan and it sparked my interest. I had always been fascinated by the mythology of ancient cultures and magickal practices, so I began to read everything I could get my hands on. I was hooked. I began reading about all kids of different religions that fell under the Pagan umbrella, finding many weren't for me in the long run. But I am truly happy now, in a religion that accepts people for who they are and doesn't ask you to change something at the core of your being. Not that there aren't close-minded people in the community, but they are few and far between.
Remember what I said about touching on future topics? Yeah. But, I guess I can go into a bit more detail.
I grew up in Memphis, TN and attended a Southern Baptist church of ~30,000 members. Yeah, I was a mega-churcher. We went a really small General Baptist church when I was really little, but the church kinda started dying off, so Mom decided the big church was the place to go. I remember her acting really weird the first time we went, but she knew there would be a lot of activities for both of us, so we gave it a shot.
I remember liking it a lot as a kid, but there were some bad things going on in retrospect. I remember my (now) ex-step-sister saying that the other kids didn't like her because of the school she went to. I thought it was just her being awkward, but as I got older, I noticed it myself. By 7th grade, people I had been friends with since I was 5 wouldn't talk to me. Add that to the fact that I was realizing that I was gay and crushing on other boys and the Sunday school teachers constantly talking about how sex in general was wrong, let alone gay things, and I was a powder keg waiting to go off.
From 12-16, I was institutionalized and attempted suicide 3 times. It was a really dark time. I tried "recommitting to Jesus" more times than I can count. I thought, "maybe I'm not saved," and went through that again. But it wasn't working. No matter how much I prayed, I still was attracted to other men. I tried so hard not to be, but that's just not something you can change.
Around junior year of high school, I read an article about a girl who was Pagan and it sparked my interest. I had always been fascinated by the mythology of ancient cultures and magickal practices, so I began to read everything I could get my hands on. I was hooked. I began reading about all kids of different religions that fell under the Pagan umbrella, finding many weren't for me in the long run. But I am truly happy now, in a religion that accepts people for who they are and doesn't ask you to change something at the core of your being. Not that there aren't close-minded people in the community, but they are few and far between.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 5
Day 5 - Thoughts regarding inner turmoil about your sexuality; Did you have any? Did it escalate to self-injury or suicidal thoughts?
Hahaha, did I have any turmoil? You’ve obviously never met a gay person who grew up Southern Baptist. I feel like I kinda touch on future questions in each answer, but I guess that’s the way things intertwine.
I’ve had some inkling that I was gay since 9 and known for sure since 12. For so many years, I was taught that being gay was an automatic ticket to hell. No if, ands, or buts about it. This lead to a lot of self-loathing and anger. As an adult, I always let my mom believe that all of my anger was directed at my (now) ex-step-dad for abusing me, and that was a big part of it, but I finally let her know what the root of the anger was.
I don’t think the church realizes how much real damage they are doing to children by spreading their hate. I was so angry and so sad for so long that between the ages of 12 - 16, I was hospitalized in a mental institution and attempted suicide 3 times. I thought it would be more likely for God to forgive me for ending my life than to live it and act on my “unnatural feelings.”
There’s a part of the brainwashing I experienced as a child that will never leave me. I randomly wonder if the church is right. Am I going to Hell? Is being gay a sin? But then I realize that I can’t fight how I feel. When did straight people choose to be straight? They didn’t. It’s as natural to them as being gay is to me. But, overall, I think I have matured and stabilized. I’ve accepted the fact that not everyone is going to accept me. That’s not ok, but that’s the way it is and I can only do so much to change hearts and minds.
Hahaha, did I have any turmoil? You’ve obviously never met a gay person who grew up Southern Baptist. I feel like I kinda touch on future questions in each answer, but I guess that’s the way things intertwine.
I’ve had some inkling that I was gay since 9 and known for sure since 12. For so many years, I was taught that being gay was an automatic ticket to hell. No if, ands, or buts about it. This lead to a lot of self-loathing and anger. As an adult, I always let my mom believe that all of my anger was directed at my (now) ex-step-dad for abusing me, and that was a big part of it, but I finally let her know what the root of the anger was.
I don’t think the church realizes how much real damage they are doing to children by spreading their hate. I was so angry and so sad for so long that between the ages of 12 - 16, I was hospitalized in a mental institution and attempted suicide 3 times. I thought it would be more likely for God to forgive me for ending my life than to live it and act on my “unnatural feelings.”
There’s a part of the brainwashing I experienced as a child that will never leave me. I randomly wonder if the church is right. Am I going to Hell? Is being gay a sin? But then I realize that I can’t fight how I feel. When did straight people choose to be straight? They didn’t. It’s as natural to them as being gay is to me. But, overall, I think I have matured and stabilized. I’ve accepted the fact that not everyone is going to accept me. That’s not ok, but that’s the way it is and I can only do so much to change hearts and minds.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 4
Day 4:The first person you came out to and that story.
Ok, so maybe this will be over-sharing because I’m gonna tell the story of the 1st 3 times I came out. They were all fairly far apart and all incredibly memorable, so I figure what the hell.
The first person I came out to was my manager at the first vet clinic I worked at. This would have been the summer of ‘04, right after I graduated high school. My boss, Amy, was a lesbian. She and her girlfriend, Lara, had been together for 5 years at that point and, as far as I can remember, were the first openly gay people I had ever met. Sure, there were a couple people in high school that everyone assumed were gay (and I often knew because of connections), but that was it. Amy lived her life out and proud. She didn’t pretend to be some femme she wasn’t and talked about Lara like it was no big deal. It floored me. The mere thought that anyone else would know that I was gay made me want to vomit, let alone not caring.
Anyway, so one Saturday afternoon when the clinic was closed and we were there for caretaking, I was carrying a small dog in from one of the outdoor yards, with its sibling in tow and 125 lbs. Doberman Pinscher lunged at the door to the run it was in and the dog in my arms flipped out. My left pinky was in throbbing insanely and as I looked, my nail was split in half lengthwise. I got the dog back in its run and went to find a bandage. I put a bandage on my finger in the treatment area and turned around to see blood all over the floor. Keep in mind, this was a 5000 sq. ft. facility and I had just traipsed all the way across it. I was feeling a little flush and I noticed my neck felt weird. I reached up and I was covered in blood. My hand was hurting so badly, I didn’t realize the dog had also ripped open my neck. Not too deep, but wounds about the shoulders tend to bleed like a bitch. About that time, my manager comes rushing out of the kennel, having seen all the blood, and rushes me to the minor med.
She kept asking me if I was ok, trying to keep me talking. We got to the minor med and several co-workers were there waiting. Apparently this wound looked horrible. They later said the only reason we didn’t go to the human ER was because it was so far away. They were really freaked out. At some point, I started asking Amy questions about life and other stuff, I guess I was a bit freaked out myself. And I blurted out, “I think I’m gay.” She gave me a hug and we just talked. She told me that I would go off to college, come out, and be happy. I told her, “fat chance.” But Amy was right, as she was on so many things. I wish I could find her and tell her how much she changed my life. She impacted me more than she could possibly ever know.
Ok, the other 2 are a bit shorter and kinda funny. Now. Not at the time. But now. When I was 18, near the end of my freshman year of college at the University of Tennessee in the Spring of ‘05. At this point, I had never voiced my gayness to another soul, save Amy. And even that was an equivocation with the whole, “I think.” So, I’m sitting in my dorm room with my best friend and I couldn’t get the nerve to start the conversation. I had just found out that he was bisexual a month or so before, but that didn’t seem to make anything any easier. So, I IM’d him. He was sitting at his computer, no farther than 3 feet away. This was our conversation:
Me: “Guess what?”
Him: “What?”
Me: “Guess.”
Him: “No clue. What?”
Me: “I am.”
Him: “What?” “Like me?”
Me: “No, all the way.”
Him: “Ok.”
At that point, we began actually talking and I kinda had a freak out moment and then felt so much better. That feels like a million years ago.
The last little story is about another very close friend of mine, a straight guy, that had made jokes about me coming out for at least a couple years. This would have been the summer fo ‘06. I just couldn’t do it. Finally, one day at lunch with him and my best friend, he made the joke, I said, “Fine. I am.” Got up and walked out of the diner we were in. He chased me out into the parking lot where, yet again, I was having a minor freak out, ran up to me, and gave me the biggest hug ever. He said, “I’m sorry. And it’s ok.” And that was it. We’re still incredibly close to this day and I couldn’t love him more.
Ok, so maybe this will be over-sharing because I’m gonna tell the story of the 1st 3 times I came out. They were all fairly far apart and all incredibly memorable, so I figure what the hell.
The first person I came out to was my manager at the first vet clinic I worked at. This would have been the summer of ‘04, right after I graduated high school. My boss, Amy, was a lesbian. She and her girlfriend, Lara, had been together for 5 years at that point and, as far as I can remember, were the first openly gay people I had ever met. Sure, there were a couple people in high school that everyone assumed were gay (and I often knew because of connections), but that was it. Amy lived her life out and proud. She didn’t pretend to be some femme she wasn’t and talked about Lara like it was no big deal. It floored me. The mere thought that anyone else would know that I was gay made me want to vomit, let alone not caring.
Anyway, so one Saturday afternoon when the clinic was closed and we were there for caretaking, I was carrying a small dog in from one of the outdoor yards, with its sibling in tow and 125 lbs. Doberman Pinscher lunged at the door to the run it was in and the dog in my arms flipped out. My left pinky was in throbbing insanely and as I looked, my nail was split in half lengthwise. I got the dog back in its run and went to find a bandage. I put a bandage on my finger in the treatment area and turned around to see blood all over the floor. Keep in mind, this was a 5000 sq. ft. facility and I had just traipsed all the way across it. I was feeling a little flush and I noticed my neck felt weird. I reached up and I was covered in blood. My hand was hurting so badly, I didn’t realize the dog had also ripped open my neck. Not too deep, but wounds about the shoulders tend to bleed like a bitch. About that time, my manager comes rushing out of the kennel, having seen all the blood, and rushes me to the minor med.
She kept asking me if I was ok, trying to keep me talking. We got to the minor med and several co-workers were there waiting. Apparently this wound looked horrible. They later said the only reason we didn’t go to the human ER was because it was so far away. They were really freaked out. At some point, I started asking Amy questions about life and other stuff, I guess I was a bit freaked out myself. And I blurted out, “I think I’m gay.” She gave me a hug and we just talked. She told me that I would go off to college, come out, and be happy. I told her, “fat chance.” But Amy was right, as she was on so many things. I wish I could find her and tell her how much she changed my life. She impacted me more than she could possibly ever know.
Ok, the other 2 are a bit shorter and kinda funny. Now. Not at the time. But now. When I was 18, near the end of my freshman year of college at the University of Tennessee in the Spring of ‘05. At this point, I had never voiced my gayness to another soul, save Amy. And even that was an equivocation with the whole, “I think.” So, I’m sitting in my dorm room with my best friend and I couldn’t get the nerve to start the conversation. I had just found out that he was bisexual a month or so before, but that didn’t seem to make anything any easier. So, I IM’d him. He was sitting at his computer, no farther than 3 feet away. This was our conversation:
Me: “Guess what?”
Him: “What?”
Me: “Guess.”
Him: “No clue. What?”
Me: “I am.”
Him: “What?” “Like me?”
Me: “No, all the way.”
Him: “Ok.”
At that point, we began actually talking and I kinda had a freak out moment and then felt so much better. That feels like a million years ago.
The last little story is about another very close friend of mine, a straight guy, that had made jokes about me coming out for at least a couple years. This would have been the summer fo ‘06. I just couldn’t do it. Finally, one day at lunch with him and my best friend, he made the joke, I said, “Fine. I am.” Got up and walked out of the diner we were in. He chased me out into the parking lot where, yet again, I was having a minor freak out, ran up to me, and gave me the biggest hug ever. He said, “I’m sorry. And it’s ok.” And that was it. We’re still incredibly close to this day and I couldn’t love him more.
Monday, June 13, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 3
Day 3 - How old were you when you knew? What was that like for you?
I became sexually aware, in general, at a very young age. I was “sexually explorative” by age 8. No one ever explained anything of a sexual manner to me, I just knew. My one confusion was how men and women “fit together” and where things went. I couldn’t tell you what triggered these thoughts at such a young age, but it was definitely a subject I commonly pondered pondered. At age 9, I remember wondering what would happen if 2 men loved each other and wanted to have sex. I knew that was “wrong,” but I remember that night clearly. I think that was the last time that a woman every entered my mind sexually.
By age 12, I knew I was gay. At 13, I remember asking my mom what she would do, hypothetically of course, if she a child that was gay. She told me that, depending on how old the child was, she would tell the child that they needed to leave and not come back. I’ve never forgotten that day. And growing up in a Southern Baptist household, only added to the terror I felt. It so terrified me that between the ages of 12 -16, I had been committed to a mental institution and attempted suicide 3 times. I figured that if I killed myself, God would forgive me because at least I hadn’t acted on being a faggot. After the 3rd suicide attempt, I came to the conclusion that I was so beyond help and so fucked up that I couldn’t even commit suicide correctly.
I was 18 before I ever told another soul and at 25, I’m still only 90% out. Although there’s been a lot of growth and healing, I can’t help but wonder if I won’t always have thees heavy scars.
I became sexually aware, in general, at a very young age. I was “sexually explorative” by age 8. No one ever explained anything of a sexual manner to me, I just knew. My one confusion was how men and women “fit together” and where things went. I couldn’t tell you what triggered these thoughts at such a young age, but it was definitely a subject I commonly pondered pondered. At age 9, I remember wondering what would happen if 2 men loved each other and wanted to have sex. I knew that was “wrong,” but I remember that night clearly. I think that was the last time that a woman every entered my mind sexually.
By age 12, I knew I was gay. At 13, I remember asking my mom what she would do, hypothetically of course, if she a child that was gay. She told me that, depending on how old the child was, she would tell the child that they needed to leave and not come back. I’ve never forgotten that day. And growing up in a Southern Baptist household, only added to the terror I felt. It so terrified me that between the ages of 12 -16, I had been committed to a mental institution and attempted suicide 3 times. I figured that if I killed myself, God would forgive me because at least I hadn’t acted on being a faggot. After the 3rd suicide attempt, I came to the conclusion that I was so beyond help and so fucked up that I couldn’t even commit suicide correctly.
I was 18 before I ever told another soul and at 25, I’m still only 90% out. Although there’s been a lot of growth and healing, I can’t help but wonder if I won’t always have thees heavy scars.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 2
Day 2: Did you have any experiences as a child that might have foreshadowed your sexuality?
I’m not quite sure how to answer this question. Did something happen to me that made me gay? I don’t think so. But there were things that I did when I was little that should have been red rainbow flags. I always liked to play with “girl” toys. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my G.I. Joe’s, Batman, the X-Men, and blowing stuff up, but I always wanted a couple Barbies so that they could get married and have families. I had a bunch of Cabbage Patch Dolls and always wanted more. I liked to play school and wanted an Asian boy & girl, black boy & girl, Hispanic boy & girl, blond boy & girl, redheaded boy & girl, and a brunette boy & girl. What can I say? I grew up in Memphis. :)
And in retrospect, I had crushes on guys as a kid. I remember in the 2nd grade really really really wanting to be good friends with Brandon Hodges. I also remember an older kid named Daniel Booker that I always wanted to hang out with me. He had his ear pierced and I always thought that was the coolest thing. Ahh, the 90’s.
All that said, while I’m not the most masculine of men, I’m not feminine either. I guess I’m kinda middle of the road. I can hang with the guys or chat with the girls. It really makes no difference to me. I like to build and fix things, but like fashion as well, even though I adhere to my own sense of style. I think there were a lot of internal markers, but most of the external were chocked up to the fact that I was raised around almost exclusively women and had mostly female cousins. I’ve known I was gay since I was ~12 years old, but I think I fall into a nice niche where the people who don’t care pick it up almost immediately and the people that do, don’t ever seem to notice.
I’m not quite sure how to answer this question. Did something happen to me that made me gay? I don’t think so. But there were things that I did when I was little that should have been red rainbow flags. I always liked to play with “girl” toys. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my G.I. Joe’s, Batman, the X-Men, and blowing stuff up, but I always wanted a couple Barbies so that they could get married and have families. I had a bunch of Cabbage Patch Dolls and always wanted more. I liked to play school and wanted an Asian boy & girl, black boy & girl, Hispanic boy & girl, blond boy & girl, redheaded boy & girl, and a brunette boy & girl. What can I say? I grew up in Memphis. :)
And in retrospect, I had crushes on guys as a kid. I remember in the 2nd grade really really really wanting to be good friends with Brandon Hodges. I also remember an older kid named Daniel Booker that I always wanted to hang out with me. He had his ear pierced and I always thought that was the coolest thing. Ahh, the 90’s.
All that said, while I’m not the most masculine of men, I’m not feminine either. I guess I’m kinda middle of the road. I can hang with the guys or chat with the girls. It really makes no difference to me. I like to build and fix things, but like fashion as well, even though I adhere to my own sense of style. I think there were a lot of internal markers, but most of the external were chocked up to the fact that I was raised around almost exclusively women and had mostly female cousins. I’ve known I was gay since I was ~12 years old, but I think I fall into a nice niche where the people who don’t care pick it up almost immediately and the people that do, don’t ever seem to notice.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 1
Day 1: Your sexual orientation or gender identity. Be creative in your definition.
As I always say when asked, I’m a ‘mo. I just like the way that sounds. It’s so non-confrontational, it just flows. I’m a man and I’m happy with that, I just happen to like other men. And I like men, not boys, both physically and mentally. Someone fun and goofy, but mature and able to be serious when the situation requires it. And has some direction in life.
As I always say when asked, I’m a ‘mo. I just like the way that sounds. It’s so non-confrontational, it just flows. I’m a man and I’m happy with that, I just happen to like other men. And I like men, not boys, both physically and mentally. Someone fun and goofy, but mature and able to be serious when the situation requires it. And has some direction in life.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Sister Wives
I’ve watched “Sister Wives” several times and I always have mixed emotions about the idea of polygamy. It’s not for me, I know. I’m hardwired as a monogamist. But, just like I don’t think it’s fair that the government says I can’t marry another man, I don’t think it’s air for the government to legislate how many people can get married. And in my opinion, you can’t have it both ways. If you’re for marriage equality, you should truly be for MARRIAGE EQUALITY across the board. However, to cut off any craziness that might ensue from that statement, all parties should be of legal, consenting adult age and be able to verbalize. No children, no animals. That’s just ridiculous.
Anyway, on a base level, I’m totally ok with it, assuming that all parties involved know exactly what they’re getting into. No forcing a daughter to marry into a polygamous marriage, no wives/husbands in different states that don’t know about each other, none of that. Everyone needs 100% disclosure up front. If everyone is on the same page, go for it.
But I can’t imagine being with multiple people at the same time…or, ya know, separately. I’m not in favor of open relationship for myself, but again, if everyone involved is ok with it, by all means have fun. I’m not a jealous person, but I think if I knew my significant other was with other people, that might change. I know that polygamy isn’t the same as an open relationship in that all partners know each other and usually don’t engage in sexual behaviors together. But it would still be weird for me.
I do like the idea of having multiple parental units to raise kids, though. How great would that be? It takes a village to raise a child, right? But it would have to be hard on the kids, too. If you homeschool, they’re likely to be socially awkward. Although, with that many kids, maybe not. But the Duggers are… Anyway, but if they go to school, they either have to keep it quiet or face potential torment from peers.
However you look at it, love is love, but polygamy is definitely something to seriously consider before diving in. I can’t help but wonder if even serious contemplation could truly prepare a person for that life.
Anyway, on a base level, I’m totally ok with it, assuming that all parties involved know exactly what they’re getting into. No forcing a daughter to marry into a polygamous marriage, no wives/husbands in different states that don’t know about each other, none of that. Everyone needs 100% disclosure up front. If everyone is on the same page, go for it.
But I can’t imagine being with multiple people at the same time…or, ya know, separately. I’m not in favor of open relationship for myself, but again, if everyone involved is ok with it, by all means have fun. I’m not a jealous person, but I think if I knew my significant other was with other people, that might change. I know that polygamy isn’t the same as an open relationship in that all partners know each other and usually don’t engage in sexual behaviors together. But it would still be weird for me.
I do like the idea of having multiple parental units to raise kids, though. How great would that be? It takes a village to raise a child, right? But it would have to be hard on the kids, too. If you homeschool, they’re likely to be socially awkward. Although, with that many kids, maybe not. But the Duggers are… Anyway, but if they go to school, they either have to keep it quiet or face potential torment from peers.
However you look at it, love is love, but polygamy is definitely something to seriously consider before diving in. I can’t help but wonder if even serious contemplation could truly prepare a person for that life.
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